Dreams

This actually isn't something that I thought would come up (considering my actual dreams at night are usual nightmares), but I think it's relevant to what's going on lately. What's going on? I'm about to start my senior year on Thursday. What does this have to do with dreams? It has everything to do with dreams, actually. I'm a person who has high expectations in life...and so I always want live to have life a certain way. Life isn't like that though, and that's why I love art so much. I love art, because despite the fact that your life may suck, and there's nothing you can do about it...you can make your own world. You can create anything you want, ANYTHING. It becomes real, something you can show to the world, even if everyone might not like what they see. I'm starting to realize something though, and that is this. Art is all about feeling, the more you made that person feel, whether it was positive or negative, you made them feel SOMETHING. When you give someone a strong feeling, they're bound to remember, and that's the gift that I have. My art isn't dull, or something that can be forgotten.  I have people telling me about art that I had done in the past, that I don't even remember doing in the first place. (I'm not saying I'm great, I definitely have room for improvement) This is where the problem comes in...what do I aspire to do with my life? I want to help someone, I'm tired of listening to people's problems, and not knowing what to say, or not knowing what to do. I want to create something great, that will change lives. I don't want to be remembered, but I do want my work to be remembered. I want people to remember what I did, because there will be physical evidence of what I did in my life.Who do I want to be, or to become? What do I want to do? No matter what I choose to do, because I live in a small town, people will try everything to drag me down with them. I'm a great person, I know that I am. Some of the things that I do, amaze me. I could let my mind wander, and work all day on a yard. Make it look amazing at the end of that day, and not remember that I did any of it. Same with art, music, or anything I do. I'm writing this blog for you, YES! YOU! That person, that I may not even know, that's reading the words I write. What do you want to do with your life? You don't have to tell me, this is where you think. Who do you want to be? To become? I want to be a mother, a wife, and have children. If nothing else, I want to impact the lives of children that aren't even born yet...my future kids. Because kids in general just annoy me, but they're still people, and people are great creatures.

Don't you wish that your life could be like the movie "Limitless"? Where all the main character had to do to change his crap of an excuse life was to take a pill. A magical pill, that wouldn't make everything better, but he was given the knowledge to know how to make things better. (Reminds me of the story of Nephi, how he asked the Lord for strength to break the physical bands, which held him down, instead of asking him to loose the bands)  I remember he said "Why is it that whenever your life exceeds your wildest dreams, there's a knife at your back?" Later he asks "Is it worth the risk? What would you do?" To me, it's worth the risk, because I would rather die great, than to die a nobody. Maybe that's why I'm so outspoken, and say so much! I want someone to hear what I have to say. Not necessarily that the words are coming from my mouth, but because I want to say something great.

BEGIN SOMETHING NEW TODAY.