Dependable

Most of everyone is looking for something, or something to depend on. If you're not one of these people, then you're one of the few that depend on yourself. I've noticed this lately though...I don't really depend on others, and I'm usually crumbling under pressure, because I'm holding up this boulder of a life. I could have someone help me carry this thing, while I help carry their load...but I don't. Usually, I'm the one adding the problems of other people to the massive thing I'm already carrying. It's kind of like the thirsty bird, he comes down for water, and bobs back down for more water when he needs more. I'm the bird, but I'm drowning in the water. It all really depends on how you look at the situation. Haha, the funny thing about the words depends, is that it reminds me of diapers.

Society tries to tell us that we should depend on beautiful people, because APPARENTLY they're the reliable people, these days. Cartoons convey super heroes as dependable people, but look at how many times the Jane, or Louis characters nearly die! Who are we supposed to be depending on? The soldiers, who keep the bad guys out of our houses? The police force, fighting off the enemies within the lines? Firefighters, doctors, nurses, FBI, or even the government? People are born to be flawed creatures, so no matter what...we're bound to let down someone. So look up to the big guy upstairs, the one who created all this beautiful mess, because he cares and is dependable. 

Who do you depend on? Your mom or dad? Your sister or brother? Maybe your friend? ...or is it simply in yourself? If it's in yourself, you must remember to build yourself up, strong enough to face the blows. Or else your foundation will crack, and the entire being, which makes you who you are, will crumble and fall.

BEGIN SOMETHING NEW TODAY.

Ignorance Is Bliss

Have you ever heard of that saying before? If you haven't, then you definitely shouldn't be using this wonderful device that we call a SEARCH ENGINE. Go search it up, NOW. If you have, then that's just great! I have always thought that ignorance was actually happiness. For the longest of time, I thought this way. It wasn't till I found out terrible truths in my life, about people that I thought I knew. The people who are supposed to be caring, loving people, are actually the monsters living under your bed. In my case, it's just a monster...as far as I know. Discovering the truth, after so many years is more painful then knowing the truth right away. My monster was terrible, because he had sharp teeth, and said that he used them to eat food better. He had terrible eyes, and said he used them to keep an eye on me better. He had sharp claws, and said he used them to keep me safe from monsters. Piece by piece, I saw all the things wrong with the beast, the qualities that made him the monster that he is. Finally one day, instead of thinking about all the qualities, I finally saw the entire monster that he is...the whole person...and so what my mind always does, it reverts back to how good life used to be. A life of ignorance, a life of bliss.  The sad thing is, at the end of the day, I cry...knowing that my dad is that terrible monster. My mom says that I should still love him, but who could love a monster? I just really wish that I was the crazy one, imagining all this up...because this reality is so dismal.Yet...I so foolishly come to wonder if he has really cared this entire time, or if my trust has been used as bait for his many traps? So, would you rather live a life of ignorance, or bliss?

BEGIN SOMETHING NEW TODAY.

Music

 Have you ever had a terrible day, and just wanted to scream along with Lincoln Park, or some other hard core music? I definitely have, and it's a horrible habit to break. I actually quit that habit last year, and my life has changed dramatically. There are still days that it seems like the cells in my body long for that kind of music, like a drug, but I turn on some feel good music and I change my mind. Why is it that our bodies crave the things that are the worst for us? Maybe it's what we grow on ourselves, what we're used to, and we're craving for something familiar, and solid. That music will never change, or falter. When I think of My Chemical Romance, I don't remember what the words said, I remember all the days I cried, because it made me think of the sad things in my life I couldn't change. When I come across Simple Plan, I don't remember how punk they are, I remember how I sang to them when my dad took my brothers away from my mom and I. Music can change how you view the world, it can alter your whole perspective. It can make you happy, or sad. It's that way, because it's art, and art has a way of doing that to people (only the great art, anyway). As an artist, I have to realize what kind of affect my art can have on other people, so I hide it away from everyone. I surround myself with it in my room, and say..."this is me...this is who I am". Why do I have to be what my art is? I don't. I can make a change, as can you. I can draw a new picture, do something different, and turn on a new radio station. At the end of the day, I just have to realize that feeling bad isn't a bad thing, but when doing it intentionally...it's a terrible thing. So don't let music, or the world dictate how you felt about today.

BEGIN SOMETHING NEW TODAY.

Bike Ride

This weekend, I went on two bike rides and while I was struggling in the middle of the two and a half hour ride, I thought about how this ride could be related to life. (Keep in mind that when going on adventures with my dad, you never know where you'll end up, or how far you'll have to go). When you start, it all seems so exciting, and great! You have your water and the bike that is so amazing, you wouldn't ask for another one. It's not that it's the best bike (life) out there, but it's what you're used to. While going up the hills (difficult times in your life), you just wish you could back peddle. Go back to the beginning, when everything seemed so easy. Life isn't like that, and neither are bikes. You can back peddle all you want, but you'll just end up stopping, unless you're on a hill. When you come to a turning point in your trip, you're excited because you get the opportunity to see everything again. What you fail to realize is this...it was greater the first time, or maybe you just magnified the awesomeness of what was around you in the past. When you're almost at the end (or the beginning again), you realize that you're almost out of water, and energy. You can't really remember how far you have to go, because you're so exhausted, but you finish the task with water left over.

Life is a lot like riding a bike! When it gets the roughest, you shut your eyes tight just to find the will within yourself to go on. The funny thing about closing your eyes is you miss things you would have noticed if your eyes were open. We often find the greatest things in the most terrible times of our lives. We meet people that we need to, make an impression, or even learn a life lesson. The problem is keeping both our eyes and minds open. When you do this, you would be surprised what kind of things will rush into your life; or even what great things were already in your life.  

BEGIN SOMETHING NEW TODAY.