Goodbye Dad

Mankind may have fallen from the transgression of Adam...but we aren't judged because of his transgression. I have fallen because of my father shoving me to the ground in the past, but I'm ending with a kind word. I will be the better person, because he forgot how to. I will not be judged for what he has done. I will not fall, because he has fallen. I will not judge him for what he has done. I will love him, for as long as I live. I will forgive him always. Sadly, I will never trust him again...and I will not have him part of my life, because he has poisoned my mind for too long.

Three days...what would you do, if you knew you would say goodbye to one of your parents in three days? (Not three days from now, but only three days of seeing them). All I can think about, is my blanket and teddy bear. Those two items are the last two things, that I care about anymore. The bear has my countless tears, wasted over my dad, and the blanket was a something my mom and  I had made together.

It may be a goodbye, for now, but maybe someday...we'll fix things again. I love him, but things are too personal and up-close. I'm his child, but I'm not his property. I'm his daughter, but that doesn't give him right to have hurt me all those years. Despite all that, I still love him. When I'll leave, I know I'll leave with a broken heart. If he reads this, which I hope he does, I know he will use these words against me (somehow, someway), as he always has.

As this chapter comes to a close, another one will begin. Exciting, will the world be as it unfolds just for me. Every sun will rise, and set, for me. Every breath will be remembered. I'll let things go, so I will be able to pick up something worth holding onto. I just wish he could have been that something worth holding onto, maybe someday he will...and maybe someday I will marry a man that will look me in the eyes and say "I love you Emily". I pray that I will feel that love, as he says those words and even when he doesn't. Most of all, I pray that he will love me just the way I am.

BEGIN SOMETHING NEW TODAY.